Edits

SO I turned in my portfolio for this poetry class I took to kill time this semester, and half way through the semester my teacher had this condition and had to sit the semester out. My class received a new teacher. He told me that I should "put stress on the poem" that "there was more to the poem" than I realize. Okay, that sounds great and all but I had no idea what he was talking about.
Then he gave me an example with Palpation (the last posted poem). I thought it was awesome, a little mystery, a little sexual innuendo (who doesn't like those?)

So here is Palpation, revised:


Palpation

I remember the first time I did it.
Pulled the glove on,
Rubbed the lubricant in.
A tight fit. One where you’d have to sooth her.
Inhaling deep, stroking her thighs
Whispering to her.
Deep breath, sigh, time to go in.
Angled for easy access.
She squeezes.
I continue to go in, forcing it.
Warmth engulfs me, it embraces me.
Deeper I move until I hit a wall.
Pushing past it, I continue deeper
Until I’m buried within her body.
She clenches up.
There’s no space.
It is too tight. I can’t breathe. I pull out.
She rejects me.