Valentine's Day

If I could change the history of v-day I would make it less romantic. I would name it after Saint Valentine, the tramp liquidator… supplier of satin heart shaped boxes… chocolate euthanasia…love confetti.

Valentine, giver of white roses dyed the deepest rouge; hemoglobin… lionized Jack the Ripper… martyr for illuminatus.

Chocolate of death would be a Hallmark given with red roses. Mass hysteria would break out on the fourteenth… a pandemic… I would blame it on “love.”

Induce a profit.